Feminine Hygiene Wash is Patriarchal BS (or Why Your Cunt Smells Weird)

**contains fairly vivid descriptions of hetero intercourse**

You know what really fucking bugs me?
Feminine hygiene wash.

Moreso now than ever before, that shit really gets to me. And I’ll tell you why.

Now I don’t mean to get all cliché radical feminist on you, but my reading and studies of radical feminist literature, as well as reading feminist blogs online, has contributed to a dormant need within me to remove myself sexually from men. I’ve actually gone so far as to leave the “love of my life” in order to pursue a sabbatical of celibacy, away from men, surrounded by women, in order to best understand who I am without attachment to a man.

And I’ve noticed something:
The only time my cunt has ever smelled unpleasant is when I have had unprotected hetero sex and the man has ejaculated inside me.

Any man. No matter the makeup of his ejaculate. Sure, I’ve had guys who’ve made me smell worse than others have, but the fact remains that in the 48 hours after sex (at least ) my cunt smells noticeably, unnaturally stinky, no matter how much I clean myself immediately after, nor how much I wash during that time.

Enter **Feminine Hygiene Wash**. For your extra smelly areas, ladies, you know which ones we mean hurr durr.

Good thing I’ve seen blogs and articles talking about how smelling “down there” is natural and we’re being sold shit we don’t need by capitalist patriarchy, now they’ve invented a special kind of pad for “crotch sweat” for when you exercise, it’s just like everything else, ladies, don’t let them convince you you’re gross, blah blah blah.

The thing is, I’ve been more aware of how I smell “down there” since ceasing PIV intercourse, and you know what?! I smell pretty fucking great. Not so great that I wanna bottle it and sell it as Paris Hilton Essensual or anything*, but still, I can tell I smell like I’m supposed to smell. Even on depressed days/weeks when I don’t shower, I still smell normal. Nothing like those 48 hours after PIV.

Am I using feminine hygiene wash to keep me smelling like roses? No! What I’m not doing is letting some guy ejaculate semen into my vagina which, due to evolution, is designed to hold a bunch of it and not let go, even when the rest of my body and hormones say “Give it up, we’re not trying to get pregnant!”

In short:
We’re awesome as we are. Then they come along, tell us we’re only good for one thing, prove it by fucking us and dumping a bunch of smelly bodily fluids into us, and then complain that we smell bad, and invent some shitty soaps and deoderants to mask the smell so they can get back to fucking us sooner, without the unpleasant odours. Rinse, fucking repeat.

Feminine Hygiene Wash sure as fuck feels like the tip of this particular iceberg of misogyny and the shitty way that men treat women. Make us smell, express dismay that we aren’t good for sex (read: anything) anymore, then make us feel like there’s something wrong with us if we don’t take responsibility and do something about said smell. We feel guilty, use the needless product which masks the smell they inflicted upon us, and then they go back to convincing us to accept the whole sordid lot all over again.

Don’t buy it, my darlings. Not just the feminine hygiene wash (which I bought a total of once in my entire life, over ten years ago) but the whole fucking lot of it. And if you do happen to continue PIV and your man complains about how you smell “down there”, punch him in the face and remind him what’s making it smell.

*I am not Paris Hilton incognito, btw


2 thoughts on “Feminine Hygiene Wash is Patriarchal BS (or Why Your Cunt Smells Weird)

  1. YESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOTALLY TRUE!! So glad you said it! I”m married to a man and I have been celibate for over 1 year and my coochie coo has never smelled soo good! I too have wondered what it would be like to be me around just women! Thanks for writing this!

  2. I love this! Keep writing sista! And welcome to the fold! I left a dude over this too. Well, first I tried to explain to him exactly why sex was not in my best interest, which went over about as well as you can imagine, and now I am free of that shite and living it up!

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